Seven Stones

So, I am very happy to report that I am seven pounds lighter  since I started my journey to reclaim my body (closer to 10 pounds at the time of this post).  I know the numbers are not my focus but it sure is encouraging to see things move in the right direction.  I know I am doing better each day and I am not panicking if I mess up. I’m just taking each day as a new start.

I am struggling to avoid the emotional eating that goes with my stressful day-to-day life but each day I am just trying to do “the next right thing”; like getting out for a walk instead of grabbing a bag of chips. (Although, I must admit the chips have won on a few occasions, recently.)

I friend of mine on Facebook posted her weight loss visually in vases with “gems” in them.  The idea was that she would move one gem over to the originally empty jar each time a pound was lost.  I am stealing her idea.  Something visual is so helpful sometimes and I don’t want to put a picture of a bikini clad woman on my fridge because that is not what this initiative is about for me. (Even if I lose all the weight, I may never wear a bikini again because of what four pregnancies have done to my skin.  There are just some things that are not designed for public viewing).

The real weight I am shedding is the weight of my issues with food.  I have modified my friend’s idea slightly and have decided to use stones to represent pounds in my journey because each stone that is transferred symbolizes a lifted burden.

I have a room that I am converting into a sacred space: a place for reflection, meditation, prayer and worship.  I will keep the jars there to remind me of what God is doing in my life and to keep me connected to Him to accomplish these goals.

Just like Joshua, I will be able to mark God’s power and provision in my life with smooth stones.   I have fashioned an altar in a Mason jar:  God is here and He is with me.

Suck It

Carpe Diem is not rubbish. It is the way of the person that lives the life right in front of them to the fullest.

I want to be like that.

I don’t want to fully experience only the celebrations and major events in my timeline.  I want to make the most of it all:  highs and lows.

Also,  I want to stop thinking about all the things I want to do and just do them instead. What is the point of a thought that cannot or does not become action? I have these thoughts all the time, many of them begin with “if”. Why can’t I reframe these ideas with “when” and actually make things happen?  There are so many little steps I can take in the right direction.

I am constantly thinking about how to live but in the process I am missing actually living. Ironic, no?

I hate that I squandor the little moments instead of savouring them.  I know I am missing out on the joy of each day thinking, if I can just get through this or that, or if I can just finish this then I’ll live. Classic waiting-for-the-bell syndrome.

But laundry is life.  Vacations are life.  Illness is life.  Dancing is life.  A crying baby is life.  Good conversations are life.  Marking papers is life  (for teachers, anyway).

Whatever the circumstance, it, too, is an aspect of living and I might as well decide to welcome it, and chose to accept the whole package as part of my experience here on this earth.

I don’t want to look back and wonder how I missed living in the midst of it all.  Thinking something else was coming.

Thoreau wrote that he ” wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life”.

So that’s my plan.  Time to suck it.