So, I bought my first pair of Spanx last week to wear under my dress for my brother-in-law’s wedding. (Well, not actually Spanx another – I’m sure much lesser – brand from The Hudson’s Bay Company but you get the idea.)
I don’t think I fully understood what I was getting myself into.
I mean, these gitch are the envy of every granny-panty ever made. A single pair is about $50 – one pair of underwear, essentially – and mine are the cheap knock-offs!
However, I need them to wear under fancy dresses and the like to smooth out what I will call my “life lines”: the extra bits of me that have grown from experiences like birthing too many children and eating too many Lays Dill Pickle Chips. Yep, that’s right. I paid good money to strategically stuff pieces of me into the largest pair of undies you’ve ever seen. A pretty picture? Maybe.
Yes, I could just sport a lovely muumuu to the family wedding but if it is a choice between grandma’s outerwear and grandma’s underwear I’d rather hide this necessary evil and pretend my weight issues away. The muumuu is a dead giveaway that I have been eating like a cow. (I realize this blog is too, but so few people read it.)
So, the big day arrives. I’m prepping for my debut as a 10-pound-lighter-looking goddess in the bathroom of the Holiday Inn because I know there will be no end of photography on this occasion. I’m showered, shaved, newly coiffed, and ready to go out into the world until I try on my undergarments. And they suck.
Ladies, it is no small feat to get into these things, let me tell you. It is no spa treatment. I could pay the same cash for a lovely pedi and be much less aware of my shortcomings. Because, after squeezing my parts into the proper places with several grunts of dismay, I stood in front of the mirror and realized one simple thing.
I am NOT 10 pounds lighter.
I am merely bound by the modern equivalent of the corset and my lack of self-discipline.
Spanx are a merely a Band-Aid solution. Sure, they work wonders to conceal my flaws for a few hours but nothing has really changed. It’s all a façade.
As many of you know, I have struggled for sometime to maintain a healthy lifestyle but it is so much easier to stuff it than to actually make changes. I am weak and my resolutions fail and I continue to find myself in front of the mirror, confronting the truth.
And the fact that Spanx (and wannabe Spanx) fly off the shelves indicates to me that I may not be alone in this battle against the bulge. C’mon friends, surely I’m not the only muffin-topper out there that needs some encouragement!
How can we come together to create a prettier picture that embraces health and wellness in all its forms – including our bodies? How can we get beyond the lies we tell ourselves and really find some freedom?
Maybe if we all rally together we can help each other confront the truths about this deeply spiritual issue. Is it possible?
Is it time for a support group instead of support panties? I’d like to think so. Let me know if you are in.
Check out this group resource: http://madetocrave.org/