Suck It

Carpe Diem is not rubbish. It is the way of the person that lives the life right in front of them to the fullest.

I want to be like that.

I don’t want to fully experience only the celebrations and major events in my timeline.  I want to make the most of it all:  highs and lows.

Also,  I want to stop thinking about all the things I want to do and just do them instead. What is the point of a thought that cannot or does not become action? I have these thoughts all the time, many of them begin with “if”. Why can’t I reframe these ideas with “when” and actually make things happen?  There are so many little steps I can take in the right direction.

I am constantly thinking about how to live but in the process I am missing actually living. Ironic, no?

I hate that I squandor the little moments instead of savouring them.  I know I am missing out on the joy of each day thinking, if I can just get through this or that, or if I can just finish this then I’ll live. Classic waiting-for-the-bell syndrome.

But laundry is life.  Vacations are life.  Illness is life.  Dancing is life.  A crying baby is life.  Good conversations are life.  Marking papers is life  (for teachers, anyway).

Whatever the circumstance, it, too, is an aspect of living and I might as well decide to welcome it, and chose to accept the whole package as part of my experience here on this earth.

I don’t want to look back and wonder how I missed living in the midst of it all.  Thinking something else was coming.

Thoreau wrote that he ” wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life”.

So that’s my plan.  Time to suck it.

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